I can’t write about the people and experiences I most desperately want & need to write about & it’s torture.
three more months isA.
if I just commit myself to continue Ramadan level Ibadah, it will breeze by.
Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.
Alhamdulliah I’m so happy today. Allah has made daunting processes so easy.
I’m so glad we are deciding to go about this following sunnah inshaAllah. If you has tawakkul, things are made to seem lighter (:
I’m too much of a spineless coward to go after what I want.
I think my dream would be this: a homemaker who also does free-lance photography and studies Islam.
I find so much joy in reading, cooking, writing and learning that I would be very comfortable with such a lifestyle.
To live a spiritually, emotionally & artistically fulfilling life is all I ask. I pray I can have the freedom to build relationships with my Lord, husband, children, family and friends. inshaAllah.
I have certainly been created weak; human.
I can not face loneliness without support and I find myself facing something so daunting, without a friend.
How long will we let this cycle continue before we accept it is irreparable?
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمْ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا فِي هَٰذِهِ الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌ وَأَرْضُ اللَّهِ وَاسِعَةٌ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
Say: O my servants who believe! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord; for those who do good in this world is good, and Allah’s earth is spacious; only the patient will be paid back their reward in full without measure.
I drift back into memories of you like a dream
trying to stay awake -
but I have forgotten how to swim
at once I am swallowed by the ocean in your eyes
in the same breath;
swallowing the sea gasping for air
the more I struggle -
the harder it is not to drown